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20-Jul-2019 04:19

You could say online dating is simply changing people’s ideas about whether commitment itself is a life value.” Mate scarcity also plays an important role in people’s relationship decisions.“Look, if I lived in Iowa, I’d be married with four children by now,” says Blatt, a 40‑something bachelor in Manhattan. People always said that the need for stability would keep commitment alive.Whatever the flaws in their relationship, he told himself, being with her was better than being single in Portland again. Now in his early 30s, Jacob felt he had no idea how to make a relationship work. Would permanence simply happen, or would he have to choose it? All of a sudden I was going out with one or two very pretty, ambitious women a week. They dated for a few months, and then she moved in.Around this time, he signed up for two online dating sites: Match.com, a paid site, because he’d seen the TV ads; and Plenty of Fish, a free site he’d heard about around town. At first I just thought it was some kind of weird lucky streak.” After six weeks, Jacob met a 22-year-old named Rachel, whose youth and good looks he says reinvigorated him. (Both names have been changed for anonymity.) Rachel didn’t mind Jacob’s sports addiction, and enjoyed going to concerts with him. She was from a blue-collar military background; he came from doctors.She placed a high value on things he didn’t think much about: a solid credit score, a 40-hour workweek.Jacob also felt pressure from his parents, who were getting anxious to see him paired off for good.Before long, his new relationship fell into that familiar pattern.

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Of course, no one knows exactly how many partnerships are undermined by the allure of the Internet dating pool.Past girlfriends had complained about his lifestyle, which emphasized watching sports and going to concerts and bars.