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That’s when I understood what it was to be in that role, to be someone’s bitch, essentially.And I could appreciate it when it was my turn to take care of someone else.” The general consensus on cougardom is not so much a specific age as it is who you date.Given that we didn’t suckle at that digital teat so early on like Millennials, we’re not going to live and die by whether we change our relationship status. Get this: I’m not even FB friends with the guy I’m currently seeing. I did get a glimpse of his page when he left it open one day, and I did take a gander at his ex, but I found it so stressful that I closed out of it immediately. If she’s gotten this far on her own, regardless of whatever relationships are behind her, she’s been through enough ups and downs to know she can handle just about anything.And she knows she won’t fall into a million pieces if she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And whereas younger women are putting you through the paces to see if you can provide her with a life, an identity, and a future, an older woman already knows who she is and what she wants to do—she’d just love someone to share it with.“I find it comforting to know that her life goes on when I’m not around,” he said. Plus, I’m talking about outside of the bedroom as well. etc.) But many are not.** She’s choosier, and, unlike the 26-year-olds who think they’ll drop dead if they’re not engaged by 27, married at 28, and prego before 30, she’s looking at life a little differently now.(This is code for, “I dread clingy girls who abandon their own ships the moment we have sex, and set up camp on my shore.”) Also, the fact that an older woman has her own money means she likely worked hard to get it. You may buy into the idea that all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want marriage/kids, because she might—but if so, she’ll be pretty clear about it up front.
There is, however, some considerable perspective and confidence that comes with age, and the more evolved woman will exude it.
And, unlike the 23-year-old who gets tanked and throws shade at your ex, she’s got class. I once went out with a young man from Queens who only dated older women because younger ladies, he found, couldn’t do a thing without checking in with 15 of their friends.